Dear Oxy #73

Dear Oxy,

Groundhog Day went by a few days ago, and I heard that Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow, so we get spring sooner, or something like that.  But now I’m worried about causation.  Is it possible at all that Phil forces the earth’s orbit to move closer to the sun each year he doesn’t see his shadow?  If so, how long do we have before he kills us all?

Yours truly,

Harrisburg Harry